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I wrote the following essay about my friend, Mark. He’s part of rhythmintwenty.com, a group of young leaders working to find a healthy rhythm in our lives. We were randomly given names of other members, so here’s what I had to say about Mark.
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I didn’t watch as the kayak smashed into Mark’s face. I didn’t witness what kind of emotions might have passed over him as he saw the rest of the group paddle away into the ocean without him. I didn’t sit with him in the emergency room or feel his pain as doctor’s stuck him with thirteen stitches. In fact, I was out having a delicious burger and milkshake.
When I did see Mark again, it was in the large white SUV, it’s shiny exterior a stark contrast to the stained-red of Mark’s own once-white shirt. Hours after the incident, he still held a bandage to his mouth.
I don’t know Mark very well, and what I do know is speculation. He’s not especially talkative, he doesn’t speak loudly to make himself heard. There aren’t many opportunities in a group like this to hear his heart, what makes him tick, especially while there are others who need to be heard. And that’s kind of it. Mark, sitting quietly, not making a scene or drawing attention to himself for having missed the kayak trip. Mark, a large presence in the room, but not an imposing one.
In the church world, (and church network television), there’s often a type of person who lives in a different realm. They aren’t fully present in the pleasures and pains of this life - constantly struggling after something more, something else - the never-ending chase for their God… and maybe their own happiness. That’s not Mark. At least, not how I see him. I see a busted lip, and I’m sure that’s not his first. Mark doesn’t live on some other plane of existence. He’s here. Present. Real. Mark is solid, steady - a person who doesn’t pretend the world is something it’s not. Mark has seen and experienced what life can be. Mark is the bloody lip in our lives, reminding us that we can talk about fluffy spiritual things, but at the end of the day we have to suck it up and live in the real world. He’s strong - stronger in spirit than even he might know.
I like having Mark in this group. He keeps us grounded. When we get emotional and weepy and self-pitying, he shows us how to handle life’s unexpected blows to the face: One step at a time. Mark is the kind of leader I’d want in my life. He’s not flighty or lost. He’s got this steady, solid rhythm going on. Mark is the steady pulse we finally get to hear when we quiet down and actually listen.
Mark is in the white!
